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You ran over my dog Gus and drove away. Right in front of me. You left your front fender behind, with license plate attached. I sent out one letter to a single address, then another to multiple. I was never even sure that any would reach you. But since you sent the sheriff to threaten me with harassment charges - claiming that I might stalk you - I take it one of those addresses were correct. What you call harassment I call demanding what was owed to me. An explanation. Both your explanation and how you sent it (via sheriff) were both asinine. And you obviously know where I live since you sent the sheriff on me. Who's stalking who again? I was never certain of your whereabouts when I sent out the letter and gave you two e-mail addresses to contact me. Perhaps I was in the wrong when acquiring the 'multiple' addresses that I did, but when you watch someone crush your best friend without slowing or stopping… It does things to you.
Let me tell you a story. A week or two after Gus's death I went out driving in a fit of rage. No destination in mind, I just wanted to get away from the maddening void of silence that was once filled by Gus. It was past midnight and pitch dark, unlike the night when you killed Gus under half a moon. Trauma has a way of making details stick. Even the gory ones. While driving back home on 199/McCutheonville Road (which was still closed to thru traffic), I had a black cat and then later a dog dart across the road. The cat was black with a white crest on its chest. The dog was Gus's size and much lighter in color. More easily mistaken for a deer than Gus would have been to an attentive driver. How did I manage to avoid hitting both? I tried. That, and I was paying full attention to the road. Even though my vision was obscured by tears, I could easily tell that it was a dog from far off.
You claim Gus "appeared out of nowhere." Bullshit. You claim that you mistook him for a deer. Bullshit. You claim you had no time to react. Perhaps if you weren't driving down a closed off road and if you had your full attention on the road, you wouldn't have hit him. And FYI Rose… while I was off cradling Gus's bloody, broken, lifeless body the rest of the family was outside too. After all, everyone could hear the "thud" of your carelessness. No one has any recollection of any car making multiple passes looking for the body or debris. All lot of eyebrows were raised when they heard that part of the story. Theirs, not mine. Remember, I was off holding my best friend so how could I vouche for those details. But I did lie wide awake until morning without hearing any cars passing. And having the sheriff evaluate me while telling me that you read the letter to the editor doesn't give that condolence from you any merit. I sent you the link to it, and guess what? I wasn't the one that wrote it.
I still think that you didn't have your full attention on the road and that certain details of your story were fabricated. You could have easily put it in your own words through e-mail, but instead you chose to intimidate me. I'm inclined to believe that you were distraught over what happened and that's why you drove off and never came back… as we know you did. But I also believe you were only worried about what this situation meant for you and not for Gus and my loss. My anguish. I accept my faults and irresponsibility. My failure. How can I not. I have a large gaping void in my life that reminds me constantly. I probably came on a little strong with the letters so to speak, but recently I did notice the similar make of an SUV passing the house. Perhaps they were casing it so they could contact the sheriff. Perhaps I'm just being paranoid. Many GMC Jimmy's out there.
But really, threatening to files charges on me? Keeping pouring salt on the wound. If I was serious about harming anyone, it would have been done. My intentions were and are what I'm doing right now. Exposing your actions to the world. That's my form of revenge. Petty? Quite so. But with Gus, my only friend, gone - what else do I have? I would never let you let you walk off scott free. I spent too much of my life with that dog for someone to end his prematurely without a care in the world. All the walks, belly rubs, brushing, combing, talking, baths, watching through the door together, teasing, rounding up the chickens, playing with his cheeks, playing in the snow, vet visits and bills, etc, etc, etc. Gus was supposed to go comfortably in my arms. Not under your goddamn SUV because you couldn't have bothered to be attentive to the road. There is a present… in the shape of a bone on my shelf. It was never opened on Christmas of 2012.
Let me spell it out for you. I was actually inclined at first to dig deep down and muster what forgiveness I could. But the way you went and buttered up your story to save face… just made my soul colder. That and how your first response was to threaten me with the law. If you ever try to sue my family, then you really are foul and despicable. I find it hard to believe that you own dogs yourself. And even if you do, I highly doubt that the bonds you have with them (if any) are in any way comparable to the one I had with Gus. All it took was me being broody… An unusually adventurous dog… and a careless driver going down a closed highway… for time to come to a standstill. At the present, I can't stop loathing you, Rose Lundy… and myself for that matter. Perhaps time will let wounds heal, but scars are forever.
P.S. We are skeptical of your story (as I've made clear) - stating that you came back and made multiple passes past our property looking for a body or debris. How can you call yourself a pet owner when you left my best friend in the road... just waiting for more cars to mutilate him further? Would you want your best friend left in the road like that? Come to think of it, your story in it's entirety means nothing to me as I sent you internet links in the letter(s) with information regarding Gus's death. It had been a month since you killed him and made no attempt to make amends. I only sent the letter(s) recently, so I believe you reviewed my side of the story and then used that information as a framework to build yours. Then you sent the sheriff to my house as a means to threaten me and defame me because I defamed you. Saying you became scared and felt threatened by that letter to the editor of the Sentinel Tribune... I may have given you the link to it but I'm not the one who wrote it (as I've already explained). The more the sheriff told me your story, the more I thought you were full of it. And guess what... aside from your disregard towards Gus and my family as a whole, leaving your fender in the road along with Gus was a traffic hazard for other drivers. Plain and simple, even the safety of other human beings didn't occur to you... or perhaps matter to you. Either you've deluded yourself into thinking your the only victim here or that you have a right to be angry towards me of all people... or you are simply a despicable person.
You ran over my dog Gus and drove away. Right in front of me. You left your front fender behind, with license plate attached. I sent out one letter to a single address, then another to multiple. I was never even sure that any would reach you. But since you sent the sheriff to threaten me with harassment charges - claiming that I might stalk you - I take it one of those addresses were correct. What you call harassment I call demanding what was owed to me. An explanation. Both your explanation and how you sent it (via sheriff) were both asinine. And you obviously know where I live since you sent the sheriff on me. Who's stalking who again? I was never certain of your whereabouts when I sent out the letter and gave you two e-mail addresses to contact me. Perhaps I was in the wrong when acquiring the 'multiple' addresses that I did, but when you watch someone crush your best friend without slowing or stopping… It does things to you.
Let me tell you a story. A week or two after Gus's death I went out driving in a fit of rage. No destination in mind, I just wanted to get away from the maddening void of silence that was once filled by Gus. It was past midnight and pitch dark, unlike the night when you killed Gus under half a moon. Trauma has a way of making details stick. Even the gory ones. While driving back home on 199/McCutheonville Road (which was still closed to thru traffic), I had a black cat and then later a dog dart across the road. The cat was black with a white crest on its chest. The dog was Gus's size and much lighter in color. More easily mistaken for a deer than Gus would have been to an attentive driver. How did I manage to avoid hitting both? I tried. That, and I was paying full attention to the road. Even though my vision was obscured by tears, I could easily tell that it was a dog from far off.
You claim Gus "appeared out of nowhere." Bullshit. You claim that you mistook him for a deer. Bullshit. You claim you had no time to react. Perhaps if you weren't driving down a closed off road and if you had your full attention on the road, you wouldn't have hit him. And FYI Rose… while I was off cradling Gus's bloody, broken, lifeless body the rest of the family was outside too. After all, everyone could hear the "thud" of your carelessness. No one has any recollection of any car making multiple passes looking for the body or debris. All lot of eyebrows were raised when they heard that part of the story. Theirs, not mine. Remember, I was off holding my best friend so how could I vouche for those details. But I did lie wide awake until morning without hearing any cars passing. And having the sheriff evaluate me while telling me that you read the letter to the editor doesn't give that condolence from you any merit. I sent you the link to it, and guess what? I wasn't the one that wrote it.
I still think that you didn't have your full attention on the road and that certain details of your story were fabricated. You could have easily put it in your own words through e-mail, but instead you chose to intimidate me. I'm inclined to believe that you were distraught over what happened and that's why you drove off and never came back… as we know you did. But I also believe you were only worried about what this situation meant for you and not for Gus and my loss. My anguish. I accept my faults and irresponsibility. My failure. How can I not. I have a large gaping void in my life that reminds me constantly. I probably came on a little strong with the letters so to speak, but recently I did notice the similar make of an SUV passing the house. Perhaps they were casing it so they could contact the sheriff. Perhaps I'm just being paranoid. Many GMC Jimmy's out there.
But really, threatening to files charges on me? Keeping pouring salt on the wound. If I was serious about harming anyone, it would have been done. My intentions were and are what I'm doing right now. Exposing your actions to the world. That's my form of revenge. Petty? Quite so. But with Gus, my only friend, gone - what else do I have? I would never let you let you walk off scott free. I spent too much of my life with that dog for someone to end his prematurely without a care in the world. All the walks, belly rubs, brushing, combing, talking, baths, watching through the door together, teasing, rounding up the chickens, playing with his cheeks, playing in the snow, vet visits and bills, etc, etc, etc. Gus was supposed to go comfortably in my arms. Not under your goddamn SUV because you couldn't have bothered to be attentive to the road. There is a present… in the shape of a bone on my shelf. It was never opened on Christmas of 2012.
Let me spell it out for you. I was actually inclined at first to dig deep down and muster what forgiveness I could. But the way you went and buttered up your story to save face… just made my soul colder. That and how your first response was to threaten me with the law. If you ever try to sue my family, then you really are foul and despicable. I find it hard to believe that you own dogs yourself. And even if you do, I highly doubt that the bonds you have with them (if any) are in any way comparable to the one I had with Gus. All it took was me being broody… An unusually adventurous dog… and a careless driver going down a closed highway… for time to come to a standstill. At the present, I can't stop loathing you, Rose Lundy… and myself for that matter. Perhaps time will let wounds heal, but scars are forever.
P.S. We are skeptical of your story (as I've made clear) - stating that you came back and made multiple passes past our property looking for a body or debris. How can you call yourself a pet owner when you left my best friend in the road... just waiting for more cars to mutilate him further? Would you want your best friend left in the road like that? Come to think of it, your story in it's entirety means nothing to me as I sent you internet links in the letter(s) with information regarding Gus's death. It had been a month since you killed him and made no attempt to make amends. I only sent the letter(s) recently, so I believe you reviewed my side of the story and then used that information as a framework to build yours. Then you sent the sheriff to my house as a means to threaten me and defame me because I defamed you. Saying you became scared and felt threatened by that letter to the editor of the Sentinel Tribune... I may have given you the link to it but I'm not the one who wrote it (as I've already explained). The more the sheriff told me your story, the more I thought you were full of it. And guess what... aside from your disregard towards Gus and my family as a whole, leaving your fender in the road along with Gus was a traffic hazard for other drivers. Plain and simple, even the safety of other human beings didn't occur to you... or perhaps matter to you. Either you've deluded yourself into thinking your the only victim here or that you have a right to be angry towards me of all people... or you are simply a despicable person.
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RIP Gus
1 min read
Just got done burying him today. I've held him with ease many times throughout his life even though we never had him as a puppy. One thing I found out... life makes your best friend a great deal lighter. Yesterday night, it felt like I was lifting and anvil off of the road.
The foot of my bed is a lot colder at night now.
A lot of things are colder now.
The foot of my bed is a lot colder at night now.
A lot of things are colder now.
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